Through the Pain My Love for Arsenal Shines On

I was as angry sports wise as I have ever been Sunday evening. The way we lost was the most gutless display. Yes, Paris was like a wound from a Morgul blade but this was different. Losing to a better side is somewhat acceptable but playing with no clue, nor passion, nor purpose… Unacceptable. This was abject surrender.

We were beaten before the match ever began. There were no tactics to blame or injuries to use as an excuse. We did not show up and played like a club that knew it had no hope so why try. City weren’t even THAT great. They cruised to what was a fairly easy victory. Let’s face it, they put on the brakes after the Silva goal. They could have really punished us.

But today I had an epiphany. I suddenly had a reminder of how much I love this club and that love blasted through my emotional darkness like the sun through a hole in the clouds.In all the mess that we have become over the last several seasons, I rediscovered the original love for The Arsenal I have always had. We are still a mess and I know that. I have not contracted Meerkatus Dimentia. I checked with a doctor. There are a great many things that need to be changed for us to get back to where we belong, challenging for titles.

For me, Sunday stripped away everything that sometimes tends to orbit around and completely hide the initial spark of why we follow The Arsenal. It reminded me of stories or movies where the rich guy has everything taken away. He is stripped from all that covered up core values. So, in that, emotional nudity he rediscovers what is truly important. Sometimes it takes great pain to remind us of great love. That is where my head and heart are today. I’ve seen the pain strip all the superfluous away and reveal to me, again, the love. Perspective isn’t just a word to me today. It is a living, breathing mindset. But, don’t worry, I have not turned into some Gunner flower child, an Arsenal hippy. No Birkenstocks on these feet(although Sunday had me longing for my drug fueled youth).

I know all of you experienced this week in your own way and all, well most, of those are valid. I’m not telling anyone how to be a fan. God knows we have twitter for that. I just wanted to write about what I experienced in my own mind and heart today. I trust you will find your own path and I support you in that. For me though, I have renewed hope that we will be back. It may take a while but I love this club and oddly this week has reminded me of that.

Side note: If you didn’t notice, I quit twitter last week. I’m sorry if I didn’t say goodbye to all I should have. I was not forced away and I miss many of you deeply. It was just time. I found myself spending way too much time on something that so rarely made me happy anymore. I reached out to several so that I could remain in contact. If any of you still want to chat every now and then contact me at my email and I can give you my iMessage contact. brianfettner@icloud.com Trust me it hit me Monday how much I will miss some parts of Twitter but I had to leave.

Peace and blessings to you all.