Setting the Record Straight About Soccer in the US. Are You Reading Ann Coulter?

World Cup fever is everywhere you go these days and no place more so than here in the United States, where national pride has brought the beautiful game into the hearts and minds of even the most casual fan. With the unlikely run of the United States Men’s National Team, bringing soccer-mania to new heights in the country, you would think it would be time to celebrate this glorious sport. Alas, for some it isn’t.

Social media and the web-o-sphere are littered with the uninformed and unfamiliar who ridicule the game as “not a sport,” “boring,” or even “unathletic.” For those of us who love the sport, support the sport and religiously live the sport, we are dumbfounded by the many mischaracterizations. For the most part, we laugh them off and know in our hearts what the truth is when it comes to the beautiful game.

This week however, we are no longer able to just laugh off those jibes. This week, the “anti-soccer” movement got a national voice, when Anne Coulter published via her own site a piece titled “AMERICA’S FAVORITE NATIONAL PASTIME: HATING SOCCER.”

Now, I normally don’t give any of the caustic voices of America’s political scene (both left and right) the time of day. The rabid voices of either side are what is wrong with political discourse in this country  and really the more you give them attention the more their ideas seem to be taken as truths. However, this was a soccer article and I had to see what the vapid vixen of the extreme right had to say.

You won’t be surprised to know that everything in her piece is absolutely false, unfounded and downright uninformed. So, since Ms. Coulter has had her say in her rather large bully pulpit, it’s time that we look at her statements one by one and interject some truth into the falsehoods she has published.

“(1) Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer. In a real sport, players fumble passes, throw bricks and drop fly balls — all in front of a crowd. When baseball players strike out, they’re standing alone at the plate. But there’s also individual glory in home runs, touchdowns and slam-dunks. 

In soccer, the blame is dispersed and almost no one scores anyway. There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child’s fragile self-esteem is bruised. There’s a reason perpetually alarmed women are called “soccer moms,” not “football moms.”

Do they even have MVPs in soccer? Everyone just runs up and down the field and, every once in a while, a ball accidentally goes in. That’s when we’re supposed to go wild. I’m already asleep.”

So according to Ms. Coulter because Soccer is a team sport somehow it’s not a real sport. Now, Ms. Coulter as we know is an ardent conservative. As a conservative she naturally is a hawkish supporter of the military and she would be surprised to know that the foundation of the military (she loves) – is nothing other than – teamwork. Don’t take my word for it, instead take heed of these words from former Navy SEAL, Mark Devine, paraphrasing a lesson from Admiral William Henry McRaven:

“The team must sync efforts of the team, and everyone must carry their weight. In these moments of greatest challenge, an individualistic mindset leads to failure. So, the Admiral says to find someone you can trust to paddle with. When an entire team paddles together, you can change the world.”

But let’s go back to sports, ask any successful NFL quarterback why he is successful. Because of his front line. A pitcher always thanks the efforts of his catcher who called the game for him. Sorry Ms. Coulter those are all – team efforts. And yes Soccer is a team sport and it teaches our youth valuable lessons  about working together as a team and achieving goals together as a team.

Now Anne would probably say that this sounds awfully like the touchy-feely “It takes a community” tome of Hillary Clinton. It’s not teams and team work are essential to success not only in sport but in business. Soccer teaches that.

But since she brought up individual efforts, maybe she hasn’t watched the beauty of a Beckham free kick that bends wickedly to reach the goal. Maybe she never saw Dennis Bergkamp’s flick and spin move against Newcastle or the likes of Cruyff, Zidane, Pele, Maradona or the plethora of individual stars that grace the beautiful game. All of these individual and team feats are done Ms. Coulter, in front of screaming, singing crowds of up to 80,000+ in some arenas, cheering names and supporting their stars.

There’s a reason the movie is called “Bend it Like Beckham”

As for MVPs, yeah soccer has those too. Maybe you’ve heard of Lionel Messi he’s won our MVP  – the Ballon d’or  four times. And get this his MVP status is recognized globally rather than locally in one nation. It should also be noted that Messi was in the top 50 list of popular athletes in the US. Where? At number 16 – only two baseball players finished above him, Albert Pujols and Derek Jeter.

“(2) Liberal moms like soccer because it’s a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys. No serious sport is co-ed, even at the kindergarten level. “ 

The political taunting here is going to be avoided for obvious reasons but suffice it to say, that I know plenty of “Soccer moms” who are staunchly conservative. As for the co-ed nature, Ms. Coulter might want to check into baseball. Raising two boys, I can tell you that in no uncertain terms, baseball leagues are filled with girls playing T-Ball and the first few years out of T-Ball simply because these levels of teaching don’t exist in softball. So, based on Ms. Coulter’s statement are we to believe that baseball isn’t a serious sport because it has a co-ed component to it?

If Ms. Coulter knew anything about soccer she’d also know that athletic talent is on display on a regular basis with creativity shown through a myriad of skills and movement a player or team can utilize to beat the opposition.  The ability to think and be creative on the ball is an essential foundation to a soccer player’s success. Keeping a ball at your feet and making that perfectly weighted pass or the deft shot that beats a keeper. In each instance, the layman would flog the ball along losing it after two touches or would overshoot the pass or rocket a sky ball that would show up on NASA’s radars.

Let’s not even get into the ability to run. Running is one of the most athletic things you can do. Whether on a track or cross-country, the ability to run and run with speed and for distance is and was the measure of a true athlete. So how much does each of the big sports run? The table below looks at all the major sports, measured with the same system Sport VU, which is used by the NBA to track how much running their players do.

Now these are just averages because some reports even have shown that some soccer matches a player can up to 9 miles per game.  Baseball, was unreportable because there is such a short distance covered and not enough running is done per game to get a possible read on. In the NFL the action is stop and start and only really has a total of 11 minutes of total action in an entire game. Soccer is fluid and without stops except for injury and balls out of play and in fairness distances covered are different per player with the average midfielder covering the most territory.

The point is that using this simple measure of athleticism immediately dispels Ms. Coulter’s uniformed notion that it soccer is somehow less athletic than the sports she loves.

“(3) No other “sport” ends in as many scoreless ties as soccer. This was an actual marquee sign by the freeway in Long Beach, California, about a World Cup game last week: “2nd period, 11 minutes left, score: 0:0.” Two hours later, another World Cup game was on the same screen: “1st period, 8 minutes left, score: 0:0.” If Michael Jackson had treated his chronic insomnia with a tape of Argentina vs. Brazil instead of Propofol, he’d still be alive, although bored. 

Even in football, by which I mean football, there are very few scoreless ties — and it’s a lot harder to score when a half-dozen 300-pound bruisers are trying to crush you.”

First let’s just get right to the point – FOOTBALL or the NFL – is not FOOTBALL. With the exception of the kickers, no one touches the ball with the foot. Are we clear on this point? I hope so.

Now, to address the tried and true argument that soccer is somehow boring because some of the matches end in a 0-0 tie. First, let’s understand where the mentality comes from – it’s our “winning” is the only thing mentality that permeates everything we do in the US. Now let’s be clear, sports are intended to have a winner and champion by the time the season ends. Winning is obviously integral to what sport is. That being said, if Ms. Coulter would take the time to learn and watch soccer, she’d know that some of those 0-0 draws happen to be some of the most exciting matches out there as each team jockey’s to try and snatch that goal that gets them the points they need towards a championship.

Soccer matches are a lot about strategy and tactics. Sometimes the coaches get them right, sometimes they don’t. Think of it as a chess match where each team tries to find an advantage over each other.  Some of the best soccer teams across the world are those that have impregnable defenses. A back four and a stellar goal keeper can lock an opponent out. And on any given day two teams can meet and find that they both are having a day where defense rules the day. It’s an amazing feat. And comparatively its refreshing because the major sports in the US are so non-defensive with rules prohibiting it to garner larger scores. There is something be said for a defensive battle.

I’m not sure Ms. Coulter even knows the NFL however, as she mentions “few scoreless ties.” Anyone want to hazard a guess when the last NFL game was scoreless? It was 1943, when the Giants and Lions couldn’t bury a plethora of field goal tries. All they had to do was kick it straight up in the air Anne.

“(4) The prospect of either personal humiliation or major injury is required to count as a sport. Most sports are sublimated warfare. “

No Anne, sports are not sublimated warfare. In fact they are not even close to warfare. When players are filling up wards in Bethesda to get limbs replaced or shrapnel removed from an eye and other body parts, then you might have an argument. I bristle at the talk that sport sometimes is a battle or war. It’s not even remotely close and it’s something I will never tell my players.

Sports are games. Every sport started out as a simple game. Basketball, throwing a ball through a broken basket for instance – a child’s game. They matured over time and evolved into the sports we know now. We should never forget what sport really is. If we do, then we truly are lost.

As for her assertion that personal humiliation or injury are required to count as sport – ask former Arsenal player Eduardo and current Arsenal player Aaron Ramsey how they felt about their injuries. Both suffered horrendous tackles that left their foot hanging by a shredded thread that used to be their ankles.  Ramsey took over a year to heal and Eduardo the same. Don’t think that’s enough, look no further than this picture of Terry Butcher. Bloodied and bandaged, he carried on playing for England. If any player in US sport had that happen, the Union would cry foul at the team for forcing the player to continue playing or the player would just walk out because it’s “not worth it.”

Butcher, bloodied and carrying on.

At the beginning of Ms. Coulter’s foray into the beautiful game she immediately went to the mat to score points with her regular audience that somehow:

“Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation’s moral decay.” 

What this narrow minded statement is trying to say that somehow soccer if it grows in the US will somehow make us European. You see Europeans to Ms. Coulter and those on the extreme right are evil and bad. They’re not American. Well, duh of course they aren’t. No, Ms. Coulter, soccer won’t hasten our moral decay, political discourse like the kind you throw out on a regular basis will hasten our moral decay. The likes of Ronald Reagan and Tip O’Neil may have disagreed on a lot but they knew when they had to come together for the country.

The vapid, vacuous fear mongering the likes of soap-box pundits on the right and left shout make us less American than a game of kicking a ball around do.

Frankly, Ms. Coulter, I am surprised you are not embracing soccer at this time. As one who argues regularly that pride in America is down, something like our improbable run in the World Cup that brings us together on the basis of National Pride should be lauded and celebrated from the roof tops. But we shouldn’t expect any less from you, because after you and those you offer nothing of real value to the American Dialog, except the realization that we all know what we’re missing.

Finally, before any of Anne’s supporters want to call me some liberal wack – you should know I am a card carrying Republican and US Navy Veteran. I am a fiscal conservative and a military hawk.  I am also a soccer coach, licensed by the United States Soccer Federation. I am a board member of my local soccer club and the marketing director for a charity, Soccer 4 Soldiers. Come at me if you well, but if I can deal with Tottenham supporters I can more than deal with you.

Simple Facts about Soccer:

• In 1974 there were only about 100,000 registered soccer players in the US, that number is well over 3 million today.
• Soccer (13%) is the second favorite sport behind football (32%) in the US for young adults.
• According to a recent IPSOS poll 1 in 3 Americans (~111 million plan to watch some World Cup Soccer)
• 3 soccer figures, were part of a recent list of the top 50 popular athletes in the US. Lionel Messi (16), David Beckham (20) and Cristiano Ronaldo (24). Messi only had 2 baseball players ahead of him – Albert Pujols and Derek Jeter.
• In a recent study 30% of American households reported as having someone playing soccer in it. Only Baseball came that close.