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Home›General›So Who Is The Biggest Wanker?

So Who Is The Biggest Wanker?

By Michael Price
July 24, 2009
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Wanker Candidate #1

Wanker Candidate #1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wanker Candidate #2

Wanker Candidate #2

 

So new feature. Something I’d like to carry on through the season. Anyone can write it – but you must have two candidates and they don’t have to come from Arsenal or be related to Arsenal (though that is better). Simply put they must have said or done something that is completely and utterly idiotic as to make them look more stupid then they really are.

This week our two candidates are none other than the recently departed Emmanuel Adebayor and former Arsenal cast-off and Ashley “can’t keep it in the trousers” Cole. We’ll exam each one in brief because frankly any more press devoted to these two punters is really more than they rightly deserve.

We’ll start with Ade. Now, not many of us cried when the striker was sold to City. Many of us were actually quite relieved. Last year was dreadful – with the exception of the CL where he did some good. Anyway – who can forget the saga of last season, his agent coming out weekly sayinf that AC Milan, Barca and whomever was interested in his client. Nay a word was said from Emmanuel to refute any of this or his desire to actually leave. It was only after Arsenal decided to give him a pay raise that he came out and committed himself to the club.

Fast forward to this week. Transfer completed a few nice words about the club and how much love he has for them in his heart and grateful to Arsene for letting him go. Then in interviews in South Africa where his new team currently are he goes on to slam the fans as being his reason for leaving and that mich to his surprise Arsene had conducted the transfer to city behind his back without any knowledge.  All of these Ade says are perplexing to him. Why would Arsenal fans disrespect him this season? I scored 30 goals the season before? Why don’t they disrespect Fabregas? How could Arsene transfer me? Arsenal needed the money so they transfered me? I didn’t move becuase of the money!!! With that much whine there must be some cheese some where.

Well maybe we can answer some of those questions for Ade – they disrespect you because you show so little committment to the club. Yeah but you got a pay raise and then went on to only score 15 goals. We don’t disrespect Fabregas for the transfer talk because everytime it comes out he come out and refutes it -emphatically. You only did after you got your money. You are upset with Arsene not because he transferred you but because he transferred you to City instead of AC Milan. Yes, Arsenal need the money. But they likely would’ve been fine without transferring you. The last point riiiggghhhtttttt!!!!! That’s all I got to say on that. If AC Milan had offered you £65,000 a week over City’s £150,000 a week you still would’ve gone on the City. Your needless delay in signing was to see if you could get Milan to budge.

Okay now on to our second wanker candidate – CAshley Cole. This man needs no introduction. Why is he a wanker candidate? Well, do we need to discuss his whole transfer saga? Do we need to discuss his rant in his book where he basically disregarded his seeking a transfer behind the club’s back and tried to make it all the club’s fault? Nah, we all know Cashley’s background – the ingrate that he was and is.

But let’s discuss his recent comments made during Chelski’s recent tour of the states where he told the scant few who would listen – that he hoped Man City dislodged Arsenal from the big four. No real reason why. No critical assesment of the big four just a continued ramp but the sodded ingrate.

So there you have it lads, our two candidates for Who is the Bigger Wanker? So who is it? Did I miss somoene? If so why?

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33 comments

  1. DaAdminGooner 30 July, 2009 at 06:16 Log in to Reply

    Ah but it looks like one of the invincibles may be returning. According to a couple of the papers Arsene is considering a bid for Viera on a pay as you play kind of contract.

  2. sachin 29 July, 2009 at 23:59 Log in to Reply

    Quite remarkable how much Arsenal got for Kolo. I always thought that Kolo came for free but now reading a figure of 225,000 which is as close to free given today’s inflated market. Over the years, Wenger has certainly gotten stunning prices for his players. The board should really be happy with that but they should seriously also consider loosening those purse strings a bit. How many of the current board members have invested their own money into the club? And one should compare that with the profit they have made. Dein did put his own money into Arsenal but he has easily gotten far more money out of selling his shares.

    On another note, Kolo’s departure means that the last starting player from the invincible team has gone now.

    These were the regular starters for the 2003/04 team:
    Lehmann, Lauren, Campbell, Keown, Toure, Cole, Cygan, Parlour, Edu, Vieira, Gilberto, Ljungberg, Pires, Henry, Bergkamp, Reyes, Kanu, Wiltord

    For the last year, Kolo was the sole survivor..The end of an era, officially.

  3. DaAdminGooner 29 July, 2009 at 15:38 Log in to Reply

    So we get £17 m from Kolo and £25 for Ade. £42 million better be going to spend on someone – anyone.

    And for the record – I can’t stand Cashley. So he is my biggest wanker.

  4. nipuna 29 July, 2009 at 12:53 Log in to Reply

    Bye Bye Kolo. Thanks for all the good times!!

  5. Brendan K 29 July, 2009 at 11:37 Log in to Reply

    I wonder if Michael Johnson or Micah Richards were ever part of the discussions in the Toure and Adebayor deals. I know some think that Richards is over-rated. But I think he is the type of player that could flourish under AW. I also think Johnson is a huge talent. But the persistent injuries at a young age are troubling.

  6. Mazza 29 July, 2009 at 11:27 Log in to Reply

    Toure, Eboue, Ade. I’m actually liking this clear out, but we need to bring in some new blood for it to work.

    You would like to think Wenger has something lined up, but that’s not something that can be taken for granted these days.

    The Senderos experiment in central midfield is very odd, even if it is in a couple of games against part timers.

    • Andez 29 July, 2009 at 13:52 Log in to Reply

      Knew u wouldn’t mind the clear out! ;)

      But I gotta say I agree with u though.

      The moment we signed that new CB (forgot his name), Kolo’s days were numbered. Neither he nor Gallas would be willing to warm the bench. So one of them had to go.

      Although I have more a soft spot with Kolo than Gallas, if we are talking about the defending qualities though, without doubt Gallas is a better defender.

      We probably need one more striker to fill the void following Ade’s departure.

      Though many of the Gooners probably have forgotton one fact – when Henry was sold, Eduardo was bought (supposingly)as a replacement.

      Had Ade stayed, he and van Persie would most likely be the starting pair.

      A striker with a quality like Eduardo cannot be settled as a rotation player forever.

      Striker needs to play regularly to get into full flow and making real impact.

      Provided Eduardo manages to stay healthy, our attack may surprise many people the coming season.

      And the coming season will be BIG for Bendtner. You can almost sense it now this guy is going to be HUGH next season. Adebayor’s departure has paved the way for Nikki B to shine. It’s all up to him to prove whether he’s as good as he believes he is.

      My only concern is we are now seemingly lacking a bit of PACE upfront. And a strong targetman who’s able to hold up the ball.

    • vibe4arsenal 30 July, 2009 at 11:03 Log in to Reply

      Wenger’s comments about Sendy were typically cagey.

      “It’s open,” the manager said. “At the moment he is looking for solutions.

      “He has many opportunities but he has to decide on his future.”

      Silvestre and Senderos potentially on the same squad? We are spoiled, for sure.

      I truly hope you’re right about Mazza’s man-crush. I gave up on Bendy about midway through last year. With Ade gone, he’s our height and aerial touch. He will have plenty of opportunity to prove me wrong. I’d love it.

      For me, it’s all about DuDu. He’s still the only close to a truly clinical finisher we’ve sniffed since Titi left. A full year of form would make all the difference.

      Overall, I dunno. I’m not mourning any of those who left (maybe Kolo, a little). But I don’t think addition by subtraction is going to be sufficient for a squad with the deficiencies we’ve had.

  7. macmac123 29 July, 2009 at 00:54 Log in to Reply

    Cole, no question. He supported Arsenal as a kid. Wenger talked of him as a future captain. He let his ego – and his agent’s greed – run riot. He will die alone of a tumor!

    But I do have another candidate – one Cal Hammer. Years ago, I was a journalist doing a feature on the annual FOXE awards (Fans of X-rated Entertainment) in LA and got to meet the proud of winner of the Fan of the Year award. You couldn’t make it up. He had glasses as thick as Coke bottles and proudly declared he had what we shall politely call a 6-whack-a-day habit. Literally, the biggest wanker in the world!

  8. Andez 28 July, 2009 at 21:20 Log in to Reply

    Btw, anyone has a clue how to change the password for this site?

  9. Andez 28 July, 2009 at 21:10 Log in to Reply

    Greeting everyone, good to see some familiar names here!

    My pick of the biggest wanker is – Dave K of AA without a doubt. This guy has such a chicken little mentality I don’t know how he managed to get elected as AA President at the first place? A man like him needs all the “Yes Man” he can get in order to fill his own ego.

    They are now having post with Gooners sharing their “match day experience” at a Chelsea Vs AC Milan match?! (does any Arsenal fan really care to know a fellow Gooner’s experience watching a game NOT involved Arsenal? What next? A Gooner posting his experience watching an Oasis concert?) Shame to see my once beloved site end up like this.

    Sorry for the rant. I would have love to post this on AA instead, in fact I did, but it was DELETED. (gotta love their new style, digging their heads into sands).

    Back to the subject of this post – Cashley Gold Vs Adebayor?

    Cashley without a doubt.

    Andez

    • vibe4arsenal 29 July, 2009 at 11:08 Log in to Reply

      “My pick of the biggest wanker is – Dave K of AA without a doubt.”

      That was my first thought, too, but it’s funnier coming from you. ;-)

      • Andez 29 July, 2009 at 13:38 Log in to Reply

        Great minds think alike! ;)

        DaveK wanna create an artificial AA wonderland where everybody agrees with everybody. Good for him. Only that… it’s so unreal. He must have read too many fairy tales when he was a kid.

    • nipuna 29 July, 2009 at 12:54 Log in to Reply

      Well said!!

    • sachin 30 July, 2009 at 00:00 Log in to Reply

      careful now. You don’t want antifan being unleashed on you now :)

      • Andez 30 July, 2009 at 00:36 Log in to Reply

        haha, antifan is a joke.

        He was never there before, and he won’t be there (at AA) anymore after successfully kicking us out.

        He’s probably just someone dragged along by Mr. President to back up his view (as no one else did, it’d have made Mr. President looking very bad without his “Yes Man” antifan).

        • sachin 30 July, 2009 at 20:26

          yeah that entire exchange brought a new meaning to the words “silly season”.

  10. arsesession 28 July, 2009 at 08:01 Log in to Reply

    Toure, Eboue, and Senderos still are question marks.

    If we lose Toure and Eboue – someone has to be brought in for the defense.

    Possibly Gallas or Djourou are being positioned to be back up for Sagna.

    Our GK in the preseason yesterday – really made some nice saves. Can’t remember
    his name – does anyone remember? Is this guy 4th on the pecking order?

  11. DaAdminGooner 27 July, 2009 at 22:44 Log in to Reply

    Actually, I am seeing a little more attention being played to the Toure story. IF Toure were to be sold it would convince me that Gallas is statying.

    Remember in January it looked like Toure could go after he said he didn’t get along with Gallas. Maybe Arsene is thinking along those lines.

    I will say the Times which originally had the story does not seem to be running it now. Maybe there isn’t anything really there. I can’t see Arsene selling two top players to Man City. But hey he starts Bendtner every now and then so there have been stranger things.

    FYI – go to ESPNSoccernet and see the story on Arshavin. He basically said if Ade didn’t want to be here we didn’t want him and we’ll be fine. I love this guy. 6 months in and already a leader on the club.

    • arsesession 28 July, 2009 at 07:56 Log in to Reply

      Wishfully, I was thinking how nice it would be to start against Everton with our final roster. 2-1/2 weeks left, not sure if all the changes will be finalized in time.

      Still no rumors about a DM addition – so it looks like existing personnel will be utilized.

  12. Brendan K 27 July, 2009 at 21:39 Log in to Reply

    Papers in England are reporting that Toure to Man City is a done deal. 15 mil pounds. Toure doubles his wages.

    • arsesession 27 July, 2009 at 22:34 Log in to Reply

      Which papers? I check out the Telegraph daily and only gossip to this point.

      • Brendan K 28 July, 2009 at 08:14 Log in to Reply

        AW is commenting on the Toure situation on the official site today. I don’t have a membership, so I can’t listen to the interview. Can anyone that has heard the interview, summarize it?

        • vibe4arsenal 28 July, 2009 at 13:53

          Brendan, if you haven’t already seen it…

          http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=663643&sec=transfers&cc=5901

  13. arsesession 27 July, 2009 at 08:19 Log in to Reply

    On a side note: USA v Mexico (Gold Cup), was nice to see Vela take a prominent role in their victory. Hoping his performance will weigh heavily with Arsene.

    That said, the outcome of the match says volume of the MLS.

  14. DaAdminGooner 27 July, 2009 at 07:28 Log in to Reply

    I am not so sure about the defense. Vermaelen is unknown, Gallas and Clichy up and down. Sagna rock solid. Toure is solid but rumoured to be on the way out. Eboue good when he wants to be but also on the way out. Gibbs needs more time. Silvestre – maybe we should pay for someone to take him.

    The front line and attacking midfielders look pretty good. I’d still like a striker with some height to replace Ade. Bendtner doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence.

    And I agree we need a defensive partner for Cesc. Now by all indications that was going to be Nasri’s role. Which will be interesting because according to the player that is his natural role.

    We shall see. I really hope Arsene has something up his sleeve for the last half of the transfer season. The first few weeks could break us in the league if we are not up for it.

    • arsesession 27 July, 2009 at 07:59 Log in to Reply

      In the box, I see Toure out of his comfort zone. When Sagna was injured at the end of the 07/08 season, Toure filled in at RB and was great, much more consistent than Eboue. Since Gallas was stripped of Captaincy, his play has been solid. When Eboue was asked to play at RB this past season, his defending sucked / as if his mind was only focused on attacking . I see Djourou as the work in progress at CB to partner with Gallas or Vermaelen. When Djourou was given a string of games, he showed strength for clearing high balls, a soft touch with the ball, and an excellent passer. Song is also a back up option at CB. Clichy has lost his consistency, but the shuffling of our lineup in MIDFIELD this past season added pressure to all in defense. Vermaelen can also play at LB. Yes, I do believe we could use another tall & athletic CB.

    • arsesession 27 July, 2009 at 08:11 Log in to Reply

      Bendtner is not the real concern for me. Of all our forwards the past 2 years – he has shown to be the most DURABLE. At 21, most fan’s expectations have been unfair.

      If Eduardo and RvP cannot stay healthy, we then must rely on Bendtner, Vela, and probably Theo. Obviously, this is not sufficient depth for CL and EPL competition.

      I don’t see another striker being added without the sale of existing player(s) like: Senderos, Eboue, Silvestre, Toure, or Gallas.

  15. arsesession 26 July, 2009 at 13:29 Log in to Reply

    I can’t find the energy to dwell on these players. It looks like we will be starting the season in the right direction, the new signings!

    Our defense and front line are encouraging!

    Will we find the right partner for Cesc? That’s my concern over the balance of the transfer window.

  16. live_dont_exist 26 July, 2009 at 11:07 Log in to Reply

    @DaAdmin: Avatars shd be fixed now. Just needed a little click somewhere. Hopefully mine shows up now ;)

  17. DaAdminGooner 25 July, 2009 at 06:28 Log in to Reply

    This could probably go under the Rumor Mill but since Ade is at the centre of it, I am putting it here.

    City’s newest striker Emmanuel Adebayor, is trying to get the East Midlands cluib to go after Kolo Toure should their bid for John Terry fall through.

    It’s funny because Mark Hughes is saying he can handle all the personalities of 11 strikers on the team. I am just waiting to see that. Especially Ade. I think he is going to over estimate how good he is and is going to keep saying so.

  18. sachin 24 July, 2009 at 21:11 Log in to Reply

    I think currently Ade is the leading candidate, until the next time Cole opens his mouth. And as the weeks go on, Bentley will surely decide to chip in and do his best to overtake the #1 spot.

    I can’t remember the last time a player blamed the fans like Ade has done. Who does that seriously? At first I was not too keen to see him go but I have changed my view. I am so glad that that jerk has gone. With his f***ing attitude, I am sure he would have done nothing for Arsenal anymore and continued to be caught offside.

    Another reason I miss the teams from 2002 – 2004 is because of the player’s attitude. Those teams had players I genuinely liked and even if those players would have missed an open net, I would not have complained. But Ade just had this awful attitude that never made me like him, even if he was scoring plenty of goals in that 07/08 season.

  19. arsesession 24 July, 2009 at 09:08 Log in to Reply

    IMO, Ade wins in a photo finish.
    Ade received his big raise last summer, then rewarded the team and fans with a season of half-hearted efforts.

    Cole – same genetic dna as Ade, but at least his effort on the pitch was consistent.

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